im told illness and happiness are not mutually exclusive

i have been told this my whole life, thats about how long i have been sick with one thing or another. weather it was therapists trying to convince me to speak, doctors drugging me out of panic attacks with benzodiazepines or being slid in and out of MRIs and PET scans, people try to tell me i have an equal shot at being happy as anyone else. but what they didn't tell me, what they couldn't, was that when you are sick happiness means something different. i used to love walking, i walked everywhere. i would walk just for the sae of walking. it helped me think it made me a better writer. but now i can barley walk a block with out extreme pain or passing out from low blood pressure. it took me a long time to realize that you have to be happy because you are, not because you should be. i find that there are 2 main reactions when people find out about my illnesses: 1) they are convinced i should be utterly depressed or 2) they tell me i should be happy i'm not dead. before i was diagnosed with my first major illness, POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia syndrome) i WAS depressed. i was on 3 antidepressants 1 mood stabilizer and 1 antipsychotic to treat my debilitating depression. after my first diagnosis of POTS, they told me that it was not the main problem. next i was diagnosed with SLE (Systemic lupus erythematosus) and Rheumatoid Arthritis. it was around this time i started to do personal study's on philosophy, and landed an addiction to the topic of existential realism. my depression started to lift right before a new set of symptoms cropped up. i would space out with no memory of the lapsed time, next began the seizures, and i was diagnosed with Epilepsy. i began to read up on these illnesses and weather or not they could be related, and what home treatments and herbal medicine could be helpful. a few months passed in which time nothing eventful happened health wise, except for a scare when i dropped some weight. i wrote an article for the epilepsy foundation. and attended a Lupus support group a few times. it was during this time that really began to figure out what it meant to be happy. i can write from anywhere, a hospital bed, my bed, a park bench, and i found that thats what gave my life meaning. being able to share my experiences in life. a few weeks ago i saw my rheumatologist because i was having problems with my small joints subluxing and dislocating, i was diagnosed with EDS type 3 (Ehlers–Danlos syndrome) but this time the diagnosis didn't hit my mental health so hard. my rheumatologist and i talked about physical therapy and splints, and i got a wheel chair for mobility. even though i have multiple serious medical conditions, i honestly think i have never been happier. i am ready for anything.