if my life were a novel this would be the summery:

My name is Allyson Marie Clare Sutphin, im 20 years old and live in an apartment with my boyfriend Matt and three cats (Lilly, and 2 of her kittens Goat, because he has a goatee and Erebos, named after a magic card. I plan to study Sociology and Philosophy with an angle in publication because i am a passionate writer, but Matt and i also want to have a family at some point. But i can’t start on school until my health is stable Growing up, i struggled with OCD and anxiety from a very young age. i started anti-anxiety medication when i was 7 and therapy when i was nearly 5. when i was 9 my mom (she was my best friend, biggest anxiety helper, and biggest inspiration) was diagnosed with breast cancer. in the summer of 2004 she wen’t into remission, but the following winter she relapsed and quickly became sicker and sicker. we moved from Cincinnati to Hudson Ohio in the middle of my 5th grade year to be near the cleavlend clinic (for my Mom) and to live near my grandparents (for all of us) about a year later, my moms Cancer had spread to her blood, her bone marrow and her lungs, so we moved her into hospice when she decided the treatments weren’t doing any good. a month later she passed away with a relaxed smile on her face. from here, things get a little shaky. my depression became unmanageable, so my dad sent me to a ‘wilderness program’ where i spent 3 month camping on the Appalachian trail. it was hard, it was beautiful, it was rewarding. it’s something i will never be able to do again, but im glad i did it. after that, i went to a residential treatment center that was formatted like a relaxed boarding school. i completed my freshmen and sophomore years here, high in the mountains of bonners ferry Idaho. i made a lot of friends here, a lot of which i still keep in contact with! while i was there, my father got remarried. while i was at the boarding school, i hd a specialized trauma therapist, who, upon listening to me labeled my father as physically and verbally abusive. so he had to go through classes and procedures before i was aloud to return home to him. while i was there i was diagnosed with AvPD, Bulimia, Major Depressive Disorder, and Multiple phobic disorder (no longer diagnostic criteria) i did go back home and finish my junior and senior year at Hudson high school, where i had my first of many suicide attempts and a lot of hospitalizations (i was diagnosed with my first chronic illness besides asthma, Epilepsy and MVP, POTS) i began to get sicker physically. i had always had epilepsy, scoliosis, asthma, and mitral valve prolapse, but coughing up blood and losing 30 lbs was not a symptom of these. nothing helpful was diagnosed except for rheumatoid arthritis and pyloric stenosis. At the end of my senior year, i had to regularly fight (physically and verbally) with my father to protect my brothers, and new step-sisters. when school finished and i graduated my Dad kicked me out and i lived on the streets of akron for almost 4 months ((i wont talk much about wheat happened in that time because thats where a lot of my PTSD comes from)) eventually i got stable in a place to live and met Matt, we moved in together. my life has really never been smooth or easy, but i wouldn’t change any of it because i think it really help form me to be who i am today. after i turned 19, i ended up in hospital for nearly a month and i was diagnosed with SLE (Systemic lupus erythematosus) a condition that would change the functionality and meaning of my life. i was later diagnosed with a few other debilitating conditions including EDS3, Vitamin D and Magnesium deficiencies, Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), PTSD, and schizophrenia) i will keep believing my life is worth fighting for, for as long as i can. encouragement is always helpful.